Thomas Ingalls Gray, Jr.

Thomas Ingalls Gray, Jr., 70, of Decatur, beloved husband, father and brother, passed away October 17, 2021 after a courageous two-year fight with cancer, his second in a decade. He was born June 3, 1951 in Washington, D.C. to Thomas Ingalls Gray, Sr. and Clara Dora Eller. Tom attended Georgia State University where he studied art and earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in English. In the 1970s Tom put his artistic skills to work illustrating posters for Atlanta music venue, The 12th Gate. He later worked as a court reporter and as a contributing writer for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution Sunday magazine; but his greatest passion and life’s work was writing and playing music. Tom played first in 1970s cover bands, later showcasing his own songs as a founding member and front man for Atlanta bands The Brains and Delta Moon. He sang and played keyboards in The Brains, recording two critically acclaimed albums on Mercury and an EP on Landslide Records. He received the Village Voice Independent Single of the Year award in 1979 for his song “Money Changes Everything”, which was recorded by Cyndi Lauper in 1983 and released as a single from her album in 1984. That same year, Tom received the Georgia Songwriters Association Songwriter of the Year award.
In Nashville in the late 1980s, Tom picked up his first lap steel guitar and was immediately hooked. He joined forces with friend Mark Johnson in the 1990s to form the award-winning roots-rock band Delta Moon, Mark on bottleneck slide and Tom on lap steel. After becoming a dad in 1995 with the birth of his son James, Tom chose to curtail band travel in favor of spending time with family and engaging with his son’s elementary school, sometimes playing music for the students and organizing the school’s Talent Show. When Delta Moon resumed travel, they toured North America and Europe. In 2003, the band won the International Blues Challenge in Memphis. Tom was named Blues Songwriter of the Year in 2008 by Roots Music Association. In 2015, Delta Moon’s album “Low Down” was named one of the year’s best by Downbeat and Blues Music magazines.
Tom’s songs have been recorded by Cyndi Lauper (they collaborated on two), Manfred Mann, Carlene Carter, Bonnie Bramlett and many others. His music has been featured in television shows, advertisements and films. Tom so loved a variety of music, he taught himself to play many styles, including Duke Ellington and Count Basie piano compositions; rock-based keyboard and guitar; Western swing, blues, and sweet Hawaiian steel guitar, and even Howlin' Wolf-style harmonica. Where there was Tom, there was music.
Tom was a self-taught musician and life-long learner. He never stopped learning and began studying the martial art aikido in 2005. He earned his black belt at Aikido Center of Atlanta in 2020 despite long interruptions in training due to cancer and extensive touring with Delta Moon. In his final weeks, Tom was learning sacred steel guitar playing.
Tom’s love of learning and reading began early. As a child, he read every book in his elementary school’s library; and as an adult, he was a regular visitor to the neighborhood library. Tom loved novels and studied an array of subjects, including art, music, history and the environment. He was passionate about conservation and bought books by Douglas Tallamy to share with the neighborhood Little Free Libraries. Tom enjoyed gardening, travel, time with family, and making friends all over the world.
Tom is survived by his wife of 37 years Janet Gordon Gray, son James Gordon Gray, sisters and brother, Helen (Jerry) Roman, Linda (Cecil) Edwards, and Roger (Diane) Gray; siblings-in-law, nieces and nephews.
There will be a Celebration of Tom Gray’s Life at Park Tavern in Piedmont Park, Wednesday, November 3, 2:00-5:00 pm. A private service will be held at a later date.